F-1 Trillion: Long Bed - Album Review

The day has finally come that Post Malone, the hip-hop/pop juggernaut known for his crowded face and chart-topping songs about shapes, releases a country album. If you’re not well-versed in Post Malone’s career, that last sentence can seem like a big, sarcastic “whoopty-doo”. Everybody changes genres, either when their popularity starts to dip or for cash grabs. For the former, look at MGK, who fell into rap irrelevancy but turned to rock in 2020 and brought a revival to his career. For the latter, look at Beyonce, who saw the sudden influx of country music money and brought her rake, in the form of a forgettable yet popular “country” album. In Post Malone’s case, he must be falling into one of these two categories, right?

That would be a reasonable thought, if Posty hadn’t been hinting at this for literally a decade. In my last Post Malone album review, I hit on several instances where Post Malone shouted that he’s more than a hip-hop artist, as his love for music has always been rooted in southern rock and country. And finally, after years of tease collaborations and cowboy hat appearances, we’re gifted F-1 Trillion, all wrapped in a giant camo ribbon on the back of a flatbed.

With 18 songs and – (checks notes, whistles, wipes sweat off forehead) – 15 features, it might be tempting to see the fifteen guest spots as a red flag initially. It's almost like Post is trying to one-up himself with each feature: Morgan Wallen, Luke Combs (x2), Blake Shelton, and Dolly Parton. It’s obvious that we're playing ball with the big boys (and girls), which may lead some to conclude that they’re there simply to carry the country weight.

Not only is that not the case, but I would argue that some of the features could’ve been relied on even more. One of the album’s best songs, “California Sober” with Chris Stapleton, is more Post singing a solo while Stapleton sings from the corner of the studio. The audio tracks are on top of one another, which doesn’t give Stapleton’s voice any room to truly breathe. Another album highlight, “Never Love You Again” with Sierra Ferrell, is less a duet and more Ferrell singing backing vocals. Outside of those two, the features seem to accompany each individual song’s message to perfection (except that Dolly Parton and Lainey Wilson should’ve swapped features. Dolly singing about breaking Posty's heart just makes me uncomfy).

But still. A country album being 83% features is like a hunter voting Democrat: you just don't see it. What, does Post not trust his ability to execute country without nepotism legend Hank Williams Jr and twenty-years-past-his-prime Tim McGraw? Well, let’s turn to the three solo tracks and let the film do the talking:

• "What Don’t Belong to Me" – wonderfully written and performed, with light hip-hop influence. This sounds like a song that ERNEST presented to Morgan Wallen, somehow did not make Wallen's final cut on that 36-track slow death of an album, and was passed along to Post. The sound can fit Wallen’s style, but Post’s vocals give it a new life that is able to redirect its vision.

• "Right About You" – what in the early 2000’s country is this! Did they pluck this fiddle directly from an early Dixie Chick's song?** I’ll quit asking you long hypothetical questions and instead turn to how beautiful this song is.

• "Yours" – since we’re on the subject of beautiful songs, “Yours” is Cinderella in her pre-midnight gown. A ballad centered around his young daughter, this penned warning to her future lover disguised as a love letter will surely be every father-daughter wedding dance for the next, hmm, eternity.

**the answer is ‘no,’ but the credited fiddle player does have experience on albums from early Brooks & Dunn, Travis Tritt, and Montgomery Gentry. Close enough. 

Post truly went 3/3 on his solo tracks in every aspect: sound, writing, vocals, execution, production. Surely if he would have released an album of only solo country material, it would’ve been some of his most fun tracks he's ever-

knock knock

Hold on a second. Someone's at my door.

Oh, hey Post. What's this, a package? Your album came out not even twelve hours ago, I didn't order anything else.

Nine more tracks? With no features? Nevermind. I did order this.

And scene.

At noon on initial album drop day, Post surprises us with his deluxe album, F-1 Trillion: Long Bed. Nine tracks of solo country material, and in those nine songs are the best tracks of the entire project. By a country mile.

“Fallin’ in Love” is a simple, upbeat song about determined infatuation. “Hey Mercedes,” the distant cousin of Jo Dee Messina’s “Heads Carolina, Tails California,” has that windows-down, suns-out summer anthem potential. Too bad it was released at the end of August. “Go To Hell” sounds great now and would sound even better if you’re three-beers deep in an early-90’s honkytonk. And it was great for Post to play homage to that one episode of Spongebob with the homesick “Back to Texas.”

Post Malone truly deserves the success he’s received over the years, but with his deep roots and love for country from an early age, it makes sense that he’s earned this transition into country. From what we’ve seen, the country genre has accepted him with open arms, and you get a true sense that this world is where he belongs. There’s a comfort found in these songs that feels like a drawn-out exhale, like the first sip of a beer after a hard day’s work. Post has navigated his whole music career with this goal in mind, but this isn’t the finish line by any means. He’s just getting started.

Top 3 Songs: Fallin' in Love, Go To Hell, Back to Texas

Rating: 9.2 unsolicited Post Malone Postmate deliveries/ 10